morgueville,heartland living.

had a rather unfruitful conversation with my mum about views on the disgusting education system. like most heartlander-mothers, who constantly hold meaningless conversations amongst each other at void decks, market place, outside school (which bloody irritates me cos they simply lurrrve blocking the passage way on the way out to the bus stop in the morning and discussing their child's gifted ability in all trades.) and outside their doors, she gathers her beliefs on everyday topics right into her fingertips, and exchange life's little stories which sometimes can be classified as gossips.

of course, such conversations are usually triggered by me sprouting unintelligent lines ("alot of arts stream students cannot pass chinese.") or evoked by parents' undying love to nag. today's was a combination of both plus after dinner talk about my baby sister's thoughts about upper secondary subject selection. i never attempted changing her mindset cos i know they are never ever powerful enough compared to heartland group discussions. clearly, her ultimate stand in today's education is cliche. ooh. i believe it to be called a university degree. and worst, i cannot believe the woman who said this was my mum. she said science is extremely important to secure a steady rice bowl. i nearly disacknowledge her. of cos, she reluctantly conclude arts do have a place, which i thought to be her version of consoling my broken heart.
but still.

and i told my baby sister about stress in jc is worse than what she will be facing in school now. my mum, as always, told my sister to embrace stress with open arms for the next 1460 days and bring glory to the family. i thought that was almost like saying embracing suicide. then she advises her not to follow my footsteps of falling down and picking myself up again (read:slack). now what is wrong with that? is pursuing a straight path to the ultimate singapore dream of a hdb flat, car, secure 9to5 career, branded education for your kids all we call life?

i think that is absolut mundane.
to me, stress is an enemy. i love to work, but i love breaks more. to me, i need to constantly recharge so that i can work better. i guess that's how inspirations flow. must we always mug and squeeze formulaes into our poor little brain for the singapore dream? what is wrong with letting yourself breathe, amongst an education system that knows no bound to mental sado-machosim? believe me, we are all outgrowing adolescent angst that seems to anguish us every now and then, finding that little mystery on 'why am i here?' through out puberty growth. it is mid-mid-mid life crisis that we are all going through and seriously, there is little more to life than working towards a miserable piece of paper. yes, you can't escape that fact but i still affirm the importance of letting go before we suddenly decides to really become adults? seriously? has anyone of these mid life crisis people hear our pain? is there anyone out there cos it's gettin harder and harder to breathe?

ahh. i got grounded for the entire next week nights.