Renewal.

Maybe it's time to close this blog.

1 more to make it 10.

Once in awhile, I like to put up a list of things I need to do.

1. Thesis Paper on the relevance of social and cultural context in the cinematic city.
2. TVC storyboard and pitch this week. Shooting in 3 weeks.
3. Directing Exercise with the Musical Theatre students. Shooting in 2 weeks.
4. Post Production for Documentary module, due in 3 weeks.
   
5. Funding proposal for thesis film, due in 2 weeks.
6. Casting opens for thesis film starts this week.
7. Script drafts for thesis film.
8. Pre-production meetings for my thesis film and 2 other Thesis films that I'm ADing for.
9. Reading up on Poitiers and Paris and practising my French.

Now I feel slightly accomplished.

Pet Society has taken over my social life.

11:57:47 PM alfian: r u wearing the new clothes
11:57:51 PM shoobs): havent yet
11:57:54 PM shoobs): im doing the kitchen
11:58:05 PM alfian: hahah ok tell me when you're done i wanna see

Wednesday, 14 October 2009 | 12:00

12:00:25 AM shoobs): check it holmes, im in my kitchen now
12:00:40 AM shoobs): in my new clothes and new shades and new everything
12:01:00 AM shoobs) and dont you love my bathroom
12:01:08 AM shoobs): im aiming for an underwater theme
12:05:53 AM alfian: omg you stacked your cooker on your low table
12:06:03 AM shoobs): i dont know what to do with the low table!
12:06:06 AM shoobs): its so out of place!
12:06:49 AM alfian: hahaha
12:07:18 AM alfian: u should squeeze ur chairs nearer the dining table
12:07:29 AM alfian: and put the low table below the wall condiment holder
12:07:41 AM shoobs): hahahhaha look at us!
12:07:44 AM alfian: i can't believe i'm dispensing pet society decor advice over msn

Bonjour, je m'appelle He Shuming.

So anyway, the film school head and the French Embassy are sending me to Poitier, west of France in December this year for the 32nd Les Rencontres Henri Langlois because National Day is screening as part of an Asian film school showcase. I can't wait because it's my first trip to Europe and I can visit Paris after that! Now I am thinking how long, and how much I can afford to stay.

I have alot on my plate right now which is driving me insane. I just barely started on my dissertation, am stuck on my thesis film script due in 3 days, a documentary to finish, a TVC to pitch, funding proposals to write, plans for my Poitier/Paris trip, things I may have left out - I don't know where to start!

S-Express: National Day at the 5th Singapore Short Film Festival

The Asian Film Symposium is on this weekend at the 5th Singapore Short Film Festival. The travelling short film series S-Express will be screened as well and National Day is screening as part of the Singapore leg this Sunday at 7pm! So buy your tickets now cos it's apparently selling fast. I'm going to attend the forum on film associations in Asia and catch some of the shorts I missed this week.

My first film festival! :):)

Tuesday

Yesterday, we sent off a friend at Pasir Ris Interchange. He is starting a new life in the army. After which, I walked through Tampines Central with a sense of unfamiliarity. The new mall has opened and I spent the afternoon looking for Uniqlo. Everything seemed so new. Even the walk through the bus interchange seemed different. Like I was recovering from a bout of selective dementia, I chose to remember some of it; walking through the food court, which was a short cut to the bus booths. Under the train tracks where we took a photo to make me feel better about a bad day in school. Walking through the sports hall. Bus stops and staircases.
Has it been almost 2 years ago when it all started? Almost. It was towards the end of the first semester in Year One, and now I'm mid way through the first semester in my Final Year.

My room is now painted in an organic combination of brown and green. I finally put up the propaganda posters that's been lying against the wall for what seemed like eternity. I get excited when I make new purchases of compartments that will enhance my organizational skills. Better living through plastic.

I am recovering from another bout of tonsillitis that's been bugging me for two weeks, which has inevitably stopped me from smoking more than I should.

Dry.

My last year in film school starts in a week.

I feel like the holidays just swept me by in a limbo. I've worked and worked (though I've yet to see the money and I'm broke as holy hell.) and slept and ate. I've contemplated so many things but done nothing. I've only jogged a grand total of 4 times in 3 months. I still haven't quit smoking. I've done nothing remotely exciting or new. I've lost faith in seeing anyone anymore. I feel like my memory is primarily selective and lapses easily. That I am horrid with sentiments and would rather choose to roll my eyes with cynicism. I feel like the only thing I have done is daydream and imagine things to work for itself without much effort. I hate it that the year's been nothing but news of deaths.

I need some order in my life like how I've forced myself to take my meds accordingly.

We haven't turned around.

A month since holidays started (the real one, after China and The Lasalle Show) and I may have up-ed two pants size, coupled with a swollen face (I may have lost my jawline). Every single day I lazed in bed with my Mac plugged on 30 Rock (all three seasons, now on random repeats), North Korean propaganda videos on YouTube and the adorable sextuplets on Jon & Kate + 8 (my favourite is Aaden, the one with glasses), eating nothing but Oreos and London Rolls with milk.

Laziness never felt so bad, and any attempt to break this was half hearted. Last week I decided to change the fengshui of my room and woke my neighbours up while moving my beds and cupboards. Alone. At 11pm.
I got bored while trying to throw out my old issues of Men's Health and promptly went back to my bed, Mac and Oreos.

But I've resolute to giving my room its long overdued, complete makeover this weekend when I finally cash in my pay cheque. Then I will start painting my room. After I buy my paints.

I chose dark green and grey, by the way.

The LASALLE Show 09

Here it is!

婆婆回娘家。

Love makes everything a little easier.

It is true, but it seems hypothetical since love is either never around or hiding somewhere.
I'm going to miss Pinkdot, which I was really looking forward to. :(

Sigh.

Awful week.
Flying off to my father's motherland in 8 hours and I'm still not packed.
I don't know what to make of this trip.

Here we go.

It was a crazy week of rushed submissions, late submissions thanks to a crashed hard disk (damn you Maxtor One Touch), sleepless nights, burning ten thousands of DVDs, and running from block to block to meet deadlines.

Two more days and all is over for the school year!

Next:
1) Reservist (Major sigh)
2) Hainan Island to soak up the sun and explore ancestral grounds.
3) Attempt for the 7,2834th time to redo my room.
4) Join a gym.
5) Work and save up for New York City in December.
6) Start a new hobby.
7) Start taking photos again.
8) Clear the junk on my Mac.
9) Start festivals and scholarship applications.

Ah wells.

I want to queef unicorns and rainbows.

My sleeping patterns are strange these days, possibly from a prolonged post-shoot fatigue.
No longer am I the creature of nocturne; I find it impossible to stay past beyond 1:30am. My aching back screams bloody murder while my eyes droops and I tell myself to finish off the edit the next morning.

I set my alarm for the morning and struggles to wake up, snoozing my phone away and curses under my breath while I wait for my morning wood to settle.

And I may be giving up nicotine.

*

First look!

Days of reading,

The tree outside my window was bare for months, and I pretended we were approaching winter when the winds were horrendously huge (or big, I don't know how else to describe wind.) last month.

I looked out of the window today and it was blooming with yellow flowers. How pretty!



And I'm so swarmed with work I don't know how else to start and the refusal to sit down and get things done is making me all panicky. I don't have the time or the emotions to deal!

Le sigh.

The page is not found.

Big crowd irks me. New people scares me. Old friends, well, sometimes I don't know if I truly enjoy going back to the past. I really do enjoy the company of the people I hold dear to, now. Yet sometimes I fear if that has an expiry date.

Yet I am afraid of the notion of solitary, the very idea of it being the inevitable when I grow old is dreadful. But I think, soon, I want to learn to be alone. The dependency that this age of connectivity is a hindrance will not be an excuse.

Perhaps after the semester's end. I need to learn that it is ok to be disconnected.

I paint my room for better fengshui.

Punctuality was never my strongest suit, procrastination is. In fact, I excel in it. I have Sun's shoot tomorrow and I am supposed to be out getting a huge ass poster of Guan Yin Ma, and to continue the search for a fake tongue. While here I am, blogging. I had wanted to talk about keeping New Year resolutions, or rather, hoping it'd help to organise the train of thoughts in my head about being a better person and more.

I figured I need to be more financially independent and not fall into the vicious end-of-the-month cycle when I usually contemplate picking up cigarettes on the floors. I know. I need to quit smoking, which is by itself an ideal that is far reaching and near impossible. It doesn't help also, with new ridiculous laws out to rid public smoking completely, each stick makes me feel like an anti establishment crusader out on a mission. Take that, society! (I need to cut down.)

I need to keep up with my physical appearance. I could no longer fit into my skinnies and my oily/combination skin still grapples with outbreaks since 1999. Next year marks the tenth year anniversary of me bursting out of my tight lower secondary school shorts, embracing hormonal changes and teenage social awkwardness with open arms . I feel my hormones are still bursting like yesterday was the start of puberty. I am still socially awkward and I've seen days when my pants are so tight that my own mother laughed as I walked out of the house.

I need to read more books. Useless news about Suri Cruise doesn't make me a better person. But I will still read Dlisted. I need to stay healthy and sleep early. I need to understand the concept of time and punctuality.
I need to finally paint my room any other colour other than the sad salmon pink that doesn't match my furniture.

and by the time it gets dark,

December was supposed to be my well deserved holiday, but sigh, I don't even think I can go up to KL for a weekend.

Internship at SIFF's been fun. The bad times didn't hit me that hard in a big way until I realised how difficult it is to secure sponsorships for the Festival.

Pre-production for Sun's new short film, Dirty Bitch has started and it's possibly the most taxing since Boo's Tanjong Rhu. Inspired by Claire Denis' Nenette et boni, it is a commisioned short for Rotterdam and well, we are all going to get bloo-oooo-dy.

And finally I am making my Second Year short film in March, which means I need to seclude myself and finish the script before the year's end.

Sunday afternoons.

Boo's flying off to Bristol next week, and will be spending Christmas in New York. That means I will see him next year, when the holidays end and the new semester starts.

I wonder how things will be like then.



The past week was a case of losing track of the hour. Nights were spent editing, writing, having late night pratas at Al-Jalani or Red Bull stock-ups at Cheers. One more week and I'm done with the semester!

And some things do come unexpected.

Crunch Time.

After tonight, I'm determined to finish off the semester with extra dosage of discipline. One final essay, 3 major edits, a compilation of the semester's works, Short Circuit, the Level 2 Solo Screenings and my exchange application. No more nights out of skank and fun!

Happy Deepavali.

Up above my head.

I feel like half the load on my back (which by the way, is straining from carrying my backpack around town with my wretched macbook pro which weigh half a ton, stuffed in it.) is gone now that my freelancing works are finally seeing the end of the tunnel and I can move on with life. I cleared the mess on my desktop, hard drive, email inbox, table and mobile phone.

Me can finally concentrate on school work!

The thing is, I spend more time in school than anywhere else. I lepak in school half the time when I'm supposed to be doing my work; hiding my smokes from those annoying security guards when they walk past. I picked up melayu lingo like rabs, jangan, berak...I should stop here. It's also my new aim in life to try every single thing that is sold in the vending machine. I try to smoke less, too, and drink less milo peng, which is dangerously diabetic. We try to spy on potential hotness that may waltz by and judge the ones who are walking fashion faux pax.



Five more weeks to the end of the semester and my internship would begin. It may possibly be at SIFF, which sounds exciting, really. I need a break from shoots for awhile though.