morgueville,heartland living.

ahh finally the week has ended. the camp was great, albeit tired limbs and everything. had time to do plenty of personal reflections when i had time to myself. it didn't really occured to me the way people percieved me. perhaps i didn't really think about it. though i've always thought i'm horribly self-concious. friends had said i'm in a foul mood these days. i think i've been harbouring so much angst in me i have no idea what i'm angry about or why i'm even angry. perhaps it's the weather. perhaps it's the people, the situation i found myself in that left me all confused. perhaps it's the things around me. i don't understand how what you see is a question of what you feel. this is from the prose text 'yellow train' i had for tutorial on friday.


i'm tired. i don't want to be angry anymore. but i think i'm far too jaded to give a damn shit. i just let what i feel out of my system without filtering. incurring the wrath of all the world's innocent people that walked my path. i apologise. i think human emotions can be so taxing. i should just turn into a stone slab. or something.

but anyway, i figure out maybe i need a new haircut, since the black roots are showing and i look incredibly hideous. i need to take care of my face since all these anger and confusion seem to had gather all the sebum and brought the hormones to a new high, thus pimples are popping everywhere. i need to focus on passing my napfa and economics. maybe i should start saving up to have adam brody's seth's wardrobe in the o.c. (just a diversion. i think benjamin mckenzie look eerily like james dean.) and an ipod too. mum bought a new mattress today so perhaps that may help a little. ah har. maybe it's the darn bed that has been causing all these anger. every morning i wake up like a zombie, terrorizing the people around me. nights will never be the same again. or maybe i should believe in love all over again. perhaps i should stop being such a cynic.

earwax: alexi murdoch's orange sky