morgueville,heartland living.

it's march already. and i'm thankful that so far this year, have not gotten a bout of depression. even after reading sylvia plath and prozac nation. which by the way, is the holy grail for the entire depressive populace. maybe this is due to the fact i have completely lost touch with the world. lost in the world of assignments and deadlines. so lost that i had no time to feel sad for no particular reason at all. maybe this is good. but was reading andrew's blog. and realised i havent met up with him for the longest time. we were the best of buds that goes all the way back in primary school. suddenly, i realised i havent caught up with any of my close friends for what seems like unknown eons. and this fear of forever losing in touch with them for the rest of my life because i have not had dinner or over coffee with them for months, soon surfaced.


what has become me over these 18 years? i think i wouldn't have come this far if not for myself. and the pillars of my strengths. the people who cheered me on while i stand on the world-stage; my life. the people who let me down. the people i let down and had no chance to apologise. i think i'm too caught up with my life (or rather, the non-existence of it all.) that people momentarily shut down itself from my system. i think after last year, i have become so conscious about how i lead my life and how not to fall, that i become so selfish without realising it. a conversation with me probably had me reminsicing every single detail of my life that i wouldn't want to hear anything about yours.


i need to, and am going to let go now.