morgueville,heartland living.

i used to have this dream of becoming a film maker. that i will get into a film school in nyu. even at a young age of 12, it became obvious that it'll be hard to find a film school in singapore and be the next spielberg. or burton. when i was in sec 3, i managed to convince my classmates to watch bjork in dancer in the dark. half way through the show, all of them left the theater, blaming my bad taste in films for their waste of money. only me and robin stayed through the show. and went on talking about bjork's stunning debut, how david morse betrayed bjork's trust, the courtroom scenes, the painful loneliness of the prison and the climatic execution scene that makes you shed a tear for bjork, that the film was such a cross between being an indie and a commercial arthouse flick and how it truly deserved the palm d'or at cannes. lars von trier became my new hero. and then robin, my first film buff bud, went on to study film and media at ngee ann. while me, continue wondering if i'm heading for that dream. or that perhaps, maybe, i lack the passion. that i am just an avid film buff. not dedicated enough to actually dare to pursue my dream.


royston tan graduated from visual comm in tp. i got in to the same course. yet that admission letter continue to rot on my table while i decided i should continue studying in a boring college in hougang. was it fear? or an indifference towards my future? today i went to the aussie study fair. and firmly decides i would pursue the bachelor of visual arts in sydney college of the arts. of course my parents are not able to afford me there. so that means i need sheer determination to do well and work on my portfolio. it means getting, begging, earning a scholarship from nac. or getting a study loan and pay off my arse for 10 years. i'm a typical capricorn. ambitious. determined. yet somehow i think i lack a consistent direction. it's like my semi-short attention span.
my train of thoughts wandering off every now and then.


earwax: death cab for cutie- a lack of color