morgueville,heartland living.

been having alot of conversations about prohibitions and restrictions which result in an stuck flow of creativity with many people. being cooped up schools where i did not get the best of opportunities to express myself the way i like, it made me cherish every moment doing art, even more. it's quite sad, really. how reality bites. i'm never proud of the fact that i'm educated the singapore way. rather, i'm only grateful that i don't have to pay much to get an education.

it still remain vivid in my mind those art lessons days at lower primary. my mum sent me for those rc arts class which i believed solely, was to allow her to mingle with the rest of the void deck ladies and gossip. i never did perform well and my mum realised she was wasting money on a talent which could never be discovered. in primary one, we were supposed to draw, with crayons, a picture of a wet market. contrary to cliche drawings by other kids - like bright colors and happy faces, mine was a morbid black and grey. i think i failed for that one. but i loved that picture and was convinced it's indeed, a semi-real replica of the wet market - dark, dirty, wet. from then on, i never did think art was something i'd like.

and i envied those same kids who win art awards every year. this pair of twins win every year. (and met them selling tix during clubbing.) i always thought they will go on and be some warhol or lichenstein when they grow up. and all the time, i see these art works and realised all of the characters have got the same kind of faces. which i thought to myself - isn't it hard for these judges to choose a winner since these works look rather the same? but what makes them stands out was those bright colors that made the judges smile. kids should always have bright colours on their artworks. it's an obligation, a perpetual stereotypical 'artistic style' that we were supposed to conform. and i always wanted to win something, like a trophy or something. but it was hard. since i know, i will never win a kids art award anyway with my kind of drawings. but one day, i decided to go ahead and join. the theme was chinese new year. i had bright colors. happy smiles. perfect families.

and i won a consolation prize.